stay asterous

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

About me

im madison/madi/matt/whatever nickname you give me (i take nicknames as compliments)

im 23, she/her

ive been on this website for probably 10+ years now

my biggest fandoms in case you have no idea why you followed me:

i overshare a lot and you are welcome to ask me anything. chances are, i’ll answer it if i see it

Pinned Post aboutme ive been meaning to make a post for this account and i saw my friend nordicwoods do it so i got inspired
tofucasserole
chokopoppo:
“chaointe:
“princecharmingtobe:
“cephalopodvictorious:
“queerscout:
“direwolf-distributor:
“filipfatalattractionrblog:
“liluglydudefromdetroit:
“So play like a noob? got it
”
You’re joking, but it actually is a popular theory in chess...
liluglydudefromdetroit

So play like a noob? got it

filipfatalattractionrblog

You’re joking, but it actually is a popular theory in chess that a complete noob potentially can beat a master by confusing them - as the noob doesn’t know what they’re doing the master is unable to recognize which of valid strategies they’re pursuing and cannot deploy proper counterstrategy.

direwolf-distributor

Chessmasters when their opponent doesn’t make one of the five approved optimal opening moves:

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queerscout

#used to do shit like this when we fenced#for real tho a newbie is way more of an issue than a master because WHAT are you doing???

I’m currently a fencing coach for a high school club and my least disciplined fencer routinely beats kids who have been fencing for 5-6 years because he’s just so unpredictable and messy that his opponents have no idea what to do.

cephalopodvictorious

I know what a master is doing, I just may not be faster than them. I know I’m faster than a newbie but hey what the fuck is happening?

princecharmingtobe

I have, on rare occasions, won pokemon battles like this. I have no idea what the meta is, and just slap things together that sound cool. It’s fun when you win by taking someone completely off guard because “Who would run that?!” Idk man, the noob that just kicked your ass. I’m not smart enough for all these mind games that go into serious competitive pokemon, but I do know big laser go pew.

chaointe

The Newbie Flail™ is the most terrifying attack imaginable.

chokopoppo

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Originally posted by oldtimeyfights

ngl its the same with league of legends i am at a level that i understand the game well enough and my friends are much better at the game than me so when they fight me they have no idea what im doing and they think ill walk one way but i dont so they miss me a lot its hilarious
spongebobssquarepants
kaijuno

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kittykattaffy

Yeah, that doesn't prevent pregnancy.

kaijuno

Dfgajagakala it’s so you don’t get a UTI 😂

jabberwockypie

*facepalm* So, given that sex ed in the US is a tire fire:

Vagina-having people have a shorter urethra, which means we’re more prone to UTIs because the bacteria doesn’t have to travel as far to get up into your bladder and cause a problem.

Which means if you’re exposing your bits to bacteria (as with sex), peeing will flush out bacteria in the urethra. (Urine isn’t actually sterile - that’s a myth - but you’re *supposed to* have a little bit of bacteria - that’s how bodies work. But it still flushes things out that shouldn’t be there.)

Oh! You should ALSO pee after you masturbate, especially if it involves penetration with fingers/toys/etc

jabberwockypie

So I’ve blocked like five transphobes on this post, which I feel should have been relatively uncontroversial.

If you’re one of the people saying “You meant ‘women’”, fuck you. I meant “people who have a vagina, regardless of their gender or lack thereof”, and you can go fuck yourself with a cactus.

And you should pee afterward, so you don’t get a UTI.

eggpuffs
froody

Medieval scribes writing things like “fuck the abbot” (their boss) and “I am so hung over I feel dead” and “that goddamn cat got in here and pissed on the manuscript” and drawing penis monsters and purposefully unflattering portraits of public figures and animals in the marginalia is funny, yes. But more than that it is so deeply quintessentially human. It reminds you that they were largely just frustrated young adults who did an extremely repetitive and tedious job 6 days a week during daylight hours in poor conditions and felt the same malaise young adults feel now.

zippythewondersquirrel

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edyluewho
shinsouisprecious

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fixyourwritinghabits

I cannot stress this enough, write it poorly. Write the shittiest draft you possibly can, stick 'ah fuck something happens here and now they're fighting' to get over

Write the worst fucking version you possibly can and stick it in a folder and forget it for a month or two before you look at it again. You know what you have now?

A first draft. And with enough time to think some new thoughts about it, you'll soon end up with a better, second draft! And eventually, you'll end up with something you'd be perfectly okay with letting other people read!

You'll never believe this process works no matter how many times you do it, but it totally does. You just have to drag your brain kicking and screaming to that blank page and get the bones down first.

Write the shit out of that shit.